when i was young, i like bathing in home-made curry, with rubber chickens. hello there! :)

oops, i'm still here! :D

2007-07-03T00:50:00.000+08:00

1. i'm so glad game with hongkah's over! :)
2. today i bought two pair shoes, 4 shirts, two bottoms.
3. i really really like my wallet, like alot alot, okay.
4. this whole week's gonna be draining. tues, trg. wed, ONLY FREE DAY. thurs trg. fri-sun camp. and then afternoon got game.
5. i need sleep! & fooood. (but i'm supposed to watch what i eat, ha-ha)
6. i'm wearing my ugly course tee, and shorts. and many pins all over my head.
7. my room's in a mess, anyone can help me?
8. i've yet to meetup with sandra, vanessa, xianglin, yawen, randy, cherlyn. and dear schoool, please gimme time for my only birthday outing with hanbin.
9. i love brother, and his OH SO FUNNY MAGIC SHOW. i'll bring you one day.
10. gwen says, " this is the 10th random thing."

out :j

:)

2007-06-24T01:45:00.000+08:00

i suddenly thought i want to know you as a friend like one whole new start. and say to you, "hey i'm gwen. you are?" and nice to meet you. :) a whole lot of unfair things i've said in my last x dont know how many entry, i apologise. :) but now, i don't know how to start hello again. sighs- i guess it's ohkay. let's hope God brings us together someday:)

oh hehehe, :j

2007-06-24T01:43:00.000+08:00

cherlyn, your lucky to have randy.
(but both of you, work on your attitude toward each other.)
but you two are like super funny!

gwen, your lucky to have hanbin.
(gwen, watch your temper ah.)
"c'mon, be good."

vids for laugh! :)

2007-06-24T01:31:00.000+08:00

eh click the link, and watch!

japanese pranks:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgaHtvNaH4w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWcjbABKsDI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2syxXPR7xY

neeheehee! :)

2007-06-24T01:07:00.000+08:00

:) i went out late today, but oh god. it was really really fun, and ohkay. i'm very happy, because i got a dresss and a bag. (i've been wanting this kinda dress & bag for a very long time) so i found out that far east is my new fav shopping place. adds on to list* hahaha. and thank hanbin, your such a advisor on stuffs that i should get. and yes, it'll be the last bag i'm gonna get. and yes, more dresses babay! yeeheehee.

and two more days, it's _________.
and i was thinking, how it would be like. ohkay, maybe not on the actualy day itself. ponders hard* i've never held parties, not even when i was young. at mac donald's or sth? no, never ever. so i was thinking, i never had that kinda feeling of wanting a party or something like that. i don't know, perhaps i just didn't know how it would turn out to be like. or rather, i'd fear it turned out to be oh my goodness boring shit! haha, oh well. and i don't know who to invite, and cos i have different cliques of friends. but your all dear to me ohkay? :) and i was just thinking, this year i'm 18. almost everyone's 18 is oh-so-fabulous. i'm sure mine would be, because having you by my side to celebrate it with me is just enough and great! and nevertheless, i know cher & randy would remember my birthday. and getting well wishes from the both of you is ENOUGH TOO! :) so i won't need to have a party to have a blast on that day aye? :) oh kay, i'm really contented. hanbin, randy, cherlyn, & family enough! thanks you all, i love love you. really really, but hey maybe i'll just have many surprises this year, haha. oh kay, stupid girl. go to bed, stop dreaming of having surprises on your birthday!

ps. i'm drawing myself a birthday card this year, & learning how to bake myself an oreo cheesecake. credits to randy. (yet to be)

i wanna study really really hard when school reopens, cos i wanna go away on holidays with a peace of mind after semestral exams. really really, hey classmates. please please please, (kneels on floor & begs) nag at me to go for lectures! gwen, you really need to put in effort to pull up your grades. remember, your GPA target. c'mon, tell yourself you need to do it cos you wanna ________ in the future. you totally screwed term tests, so what do you need to do? work on your coursework and exams ohkay, you really need to. remember what the 2nd year students advised. so please attend lectures, do your tutorials no matter how tired you are from season and trainings. you have to do it! :)

i need to sleep soon, i'm sneezing like a monkey.
those with injuries, take care! :)
those having tests/exams in the coming week, luckluck!
those who haven't got your goals in life set out, go go go! (no matter how unrealistic or far it is, just aim)
those who aren't happy in life now, if you want it to be happy. you can make it happy. you make your life up, not others, environment & many other oh-so-not reasons.
ANYONE, YOU CAN DO IT.

ducktour! :)

2007-06-20T00:56:00.000+08:00

hello hello! :) i went ducktour today ohkay, and i'm so proud of it hahahahahahahhaa. ducktour was surprisingly very informative. yeah, and you'll know a little more about singapore, as for me. it's much more! neeheehee, right. so i enjoyed the ride with sam. and i'm gonna bring dad for a ride one day! dad, will you go with me? randy, i think you should bring cherlyn for the ride. show them your student passes, and you'll get 40% offffffffffffffffffff, it's alot ohkay.

tmrw i'm going somewhere that i've been longing to go, and with dad! :)

holidays are so gonna be over soon, save me! ohkay, and i somehow wish youth cup would be over sooon, like seriously. cos it's so draining. and when school starts, i don't know where i'd find the energy for more trainings, more projects, how to keep myself awake for lectures, keep up with tutorials, how how how. you tell me how! i'm looking forward to pol-ite. c'mon tp, let's rock balllllls. ;D i seriously need to run track 24/7 (in my dreams), haha. no seriously, i neeed to lose those fats, add those ultra humongous lungs please please please. and i like going TP's training, and i like everyone else in the team, and coach. your league of ants wohooooooooooooooooo

i made a new friend during the ride on darlene the duck. she's from india, her name's ah mur.

dad, mom, bro.

2007-06-17T02:04:00.000+08:00

i went went went went with family out to eat and shop, at. errr, funan the IT mall. woah uh.

hahahahah! (: okay, brother. your cute, hahahaha. we go like, wth the prices drop so bloody much. okay, and he bought daddy those cd-roms on how to speak indonesian, french & tamil. i think! (: ahahahaha, he was like, " dad, let me get this for your father's day present! " brother, mine's coming soooooooooooooon. i feel like getting you the lacoste shoe cos your going far far away for 8 months.

well, i hope sept holidays come true. dad, mom, can we please please go venice? or at least stop by there, i wannna wannna wannna wannna wanna go there! :j

everyone say, whaaaa-oahhhh.

):

2007-06-15T01:06:00.000+08:00

i wish i had you to apologise to me.

why did you have someone to ask me to apologise to you for treating you that way. in what way was i wrong. i was wrong about everything. wrong about apologising to you, and trying to get to know you. you really soak my bed & pillows.

i'm nice, yea right.

yada, yada.

2007-06-14T23:16:00.001+08:00

hello! :) gwen's just home from training. i had many many many many fun with people at dinner today. i never regretted joining the team now. you guys are just ha, TWO THUMS UP! what can i say, flaws & stuffs. but still a great team alright, go xing xin! ;)

okay, i injured my finger today. it doesn't seem injured, no swelling, no funny looking fingers or something. but what i can say is that, it's really painful. have any of you like doubted your friend when they got injured or something, you were thinking like, oh no. is it really that bad? okay, i've never thought that any injury was not serious. even though it's minor, i still think we should give the person the benefit of the doubt. just show some concern, it may not seem like an injury. but maybe it hurts alot! :) katek, please take care of your ankle. your such a naughty little kway teow fella, stares* go resttttt.

hey someone, you may be good. don't let your ego go too high, people'll screw you.

hanbin did house chores, i messed it all up, hahahaha. :) i had so much fun. when i was young, i didn't have the chance to mess up the whole house while someone's cleaning up the house. hehehe, thanksssssssssssssssssss hanbin!

:)

2007-06-14T02:57:00.000+08:00

lets' sleeeeeeep early! (:

geepeeerrrrrs, creeeeperrrrrs.

2007-06-13T03:12:00.000+08:00

sorry that i displayed such unliking. i shouldn't have.

dear gwendalynn feels sorry!

okay, i cannot stop looking at this pair of shoeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

and i don't know if i shold get this dresssssss.

heyhey, i got back that passion again! but this game seems new to me. it seems happier, and much enjoyment, great! :D:D:D

:j not goooooooood

2007-06-12T12:54:00.000+08:00

i was thinking, i haven't been resting well enough. but but but, i've got training monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday. andddddddd, matches & project meetings. c'mon, life's filled up, make it happy and enjoyable to get by now! okay, not get by. live it! :j
my weight's like up & down, i feeeeeeel weirdly fat. hahahahaha, wha whats' wrong me here. my ideal of 60kg is like so so so so so unreachableeeee, help me! put me on intensive hardcore training regime, plssssssss! leannnnnnnny baby, here i come! (puts* on superman suit)
school's starting in another weeek, i truely didn't do well at all for term tests. no more skipping of lectures gwen, no! do you god damn useful tutorial lahhhhh. there's many many projects to hand in gwen, what are you doing. get your flabby old fatass on the chair and start something, okay?

i hope there's vacancy for windsurfing this weekend, i wanna learnnnnnn. plus meetup with vanessa aw xue ni. sandra, we will. we will meet up someday!

highly confusing entry.

2007-06-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

so maybe now, i'm gonna blog about something, someone that i don't know whether i should just let it go, or give it another try at trying to know the person, and try to ask myself to forget everything else.

i got angry, while reading someone's blog. and the word, "plight" just sends me to hell back and forth. so is it really true that it's such a plight that he had to be in. and in this entry, i was the cause of everything, and it made me feel like giving up every single thing. like i've just destroyed someone's life, because he/she doesn't have his/her only wonderwall. i've tried knowing you, but hey. you don't just come in, and try to be really sincere, and just when i was about into accepting you and forgeting everything else, you just mysteriously go away. so what is it me trying to apologise for being everything mean, and now. forget it. in this paragraph, i feel like i giving up everything. and cut myself off from this basketball world, any connections from anyone involved in this too.

on the other hand, i have so much anger, and feel that i didn't do anything wrong. so you two did almost anything you asked for initially. and there was this time, it ended me walking in orchard road alone crying, and after that you two could go home on the bus together. never mind about that. and when everyone knew everything, i was the last to know. and i was confiding in someone i shouldn't at all. and had the cheek to say that he/she understand how i was feeling. and complained to despite the fact me knowing that i knew everything but i still love him/her very very dearly. so was it unfair, or just very fair because you two might have just sparked off if i never knew about basketball, and maybe never even existed. and for that entry you wrote, you wrote it as if i didn't feel how you felt at all. and perhaps he/she gave you all the attention when he/she, never mind. and hey, he/she wanted out. so i had to deal with it and.

up till today, i am still in that thought what should i do. i've a concious to live with too. so what am i supposed to do. was it any fairer to me with the way both at you were going on. and maybe you could push away all my feelings and ask of things, i couldn't. until today, i still feel that feeling. so i just befriend you someday again. lets' say A is B's wonderwall, and A is C's wonderwall too. has it happened to any of you? i really don't know. sometimes i think of it, it hits me. and i just go all...

i never wanted to be the last to know of anything if it involved me. i was treated like a fool, and listened, and just went right through. due to that very incident, and you coming in trying to be a good friend, and leaving as and when you wanted. i became very very protective of myself. i never went all out to know another friend, for i'm so scared that it might just happen again. i do not like that very feeling. where you know someone's not fine, he/she confides. and you were wondering that someone was doing okay still the next day, and you decide to text the person, but you just held back, and backspaced. or maybe we were never meant to meet each other, know each other, or for the matter of fact, work out as friends.

you know, i'm so dead beat of this. it still recites in my mind every now and then, so what i'm supposed to do. just let it go? it's difficult. never i had thought so much of someone, like wanting and not wanting to befriend he/she. like thinking whether is it fair for you, and i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know.

i really hate the fact that your friend knows what has happened, and your friend just happens to be in the basketball scene. this very very thought makes me want to cut off from the basketball world, and just perish. never mind, you had the right to confide in whoever you wanted.

when or where i was hostile to anyone, i don't know you. didn't see the need to be friendly all you know? i could just come off as a fake, so this is me. cos you and i do not know each other. so call me hostile if you want to. but i actually am not inside(okay, who was i to say that), unless you piss me off real badly. just like today, some f*cker just commented on something. i swear i wanted to embarrass you in front of the whole crowd and taught you how to be sensitive, oh fine.

gwendalynn ain't happy right now, she's just angrry about everything. or perhaps you might have thought, she's more sad than angry.
and please i could be there for anyone, but don't treat me as a machine. you put 5cents in, you talk all you want and worry this machine, and just go away. everytime you need this machine, you just put 5cents in. hey i may be very fierce, dao or whatever shit you call me, i do actually think alot. and as for others who come to me about their problems, i sincerely listen, and sincerely try to help. but please, i am person of feelings and heart. you don't come and go as you wish. you don't potray that you very much want to be my friend, and you could just do the opposite. i do dislike you, for everything you've said and treating me like a fool. nobody likes to be treated like a fool, but i won't treat you like one. i have something for you, i think you should really love yourself more, and give your heart a chance. temporary happiness brings you longlasting unhappy memories at times. think about it. (not that your gonna chance upon this here, but hey. i hope someone tells you this someday somehow.) you know something, after everything. i still do wish for the best for you, and hope that everything goes well for you. but apparently i wouldn't show it out.

i think i'm gonna sleep soon or something. i'm feeling low key. gwen'll be fineeeeeeeeee! :)

so i just enjoyed my day.

2007-06-10T03:12:00.000+08:00

okay, so i woke up at like 12. and then i dilly dally all the way till 2 plus. and i was off to hanbin's house. right, again so you might say. hahaha! wait for your time, it'll come. okay, gwendalynn koh, you'd better stop it before everyone else decides not to befriend you anymore.

so i had my game against kaixuan that day. okay, maybe i did freak out, or i didn't. i really really do not know. i don't even know if i was playing well either. at least i think i didn't. (: but it's okay, i reflected. i used to get really fed up in the past when people double team me (for those not really into basketball, just imagine two people charging at you when your trying to get the ball in, maybe not that exaggerating, haha) as i said, i would just wanna get fed up, and i'd try to get back at that person, haha maybe give her big big elbow at the face. okay, but not now. i just kinda want to get a sub, bench me, till i calm down. i just want to be quiet. haha. and now i do realise my mistakes thereafter and all, so maybe coming back after sucha long 'spring' break was good. i think i'm playing better, even better than last time. am i ? so to summarise, i was neither happy nor sad. so ha-ha-ha. (but psst, i still do love the game! i still dive for that ball you know.)

trainings are gonna be 3 times a week now, school i meant. and there's youth cup, and when school reopens, pol-ite starts! come watch me in action, ha-ha-ha. oh shut up gwen! well i wanna make a good comeback, even better before. i wanna make the crowd go oooohhh and ahhhh. okay, no. i just wanna play that game with a even wider smile, and enjoy it better than before even though without proper ligaments supporting that ankle of mine.

haha, on thurs night, friday morning. hanbin tried to teach me how to ride a bicycleeeeeeeee. (and yes, stop huh-ing. haha, i do not know how to ride a bicycle, and i still do not know now.) so i was suppose to practice going straight and balancing down a slope. so i went "weeeeeeeeeeeeee....", and towards some curb, i decided not to know how to use the brakes, and off balance i went, and i went " ahhhhhhhh, i do not want to learn anymore, i do not like this stupid bicycle!" hahaha, okay yes i was like a kid. hahaha, but i'm STILL GONNA LEARN HOW TO! (: hanbin consoled and held me up like i was sucha baby, horrible gwen. better stop baby talks and cries.

okay now, lets' look at what i've done just before i decided to blog.

BASKETBALL HOMEWORK

and i'm very very proud of it. because i took time to surf the web for more accurate information. coach, i hope you read the extra set-plays i added in though, do consider! (:

lets' look at what i did to reuben's face on CCN day! its some even in TP every year, CARE FOR CENTRAL NETWORK DAY. we pay for a good cause.

and on mother's day! (:

ma, i love you! (: though you can be really unreasonable and tempermental at times, you look beautiful always. dad, your day is coming up soon! (:

gwendalynn feels prouda herself! :)

2007-06-05T10:29:00.000+08:00

:) hello hello!
i'm listening to alfie by lily allen now, feeling very very naughty now. hehe. well, i feel very proud of myself today. cos i woke up at 0615, headed to hanbin's house. (oh ya, yesterday i slept at 0330) then cooked him pancakes, it was god damn easy, but still! haha. and then sent him off for school, i actually continued studying. woah, -pats on back and then yes, from 8 to now, 1030. i studied organisational behaviour, but but but. i'm not prepared. but i still feel very much awake, gives a you should praise me for that face, naaahahaha.
alrights, i'm offffffffff

ps: just one more day, after wednesday. you shall see me screaming in the streets, laughing like i don't know what shame shame is. poooooof*

oh no, what's gonna happen to term tests.

2007-06-05T02:24:00.000+08:00

gwendalynn koh isn't thinking at the moment, her brain ain't functioning at all. she wants to sleep, yet wants to study but can't get anything in that malfuntion brain of hers. she spells how, as woh. -pulls hairrrrr how to study and get good grades like that gwen, you horrible little fellow. i suddenly have this erm oh so random urge to play psp, (hanbin it's all your fault) and oh ya, i watched shrek today, hahahahah. stop going like, "whattttt, shrek. gosh" swear i'll pluck all your teeth out one by one, and make your eyeballs burning hot meatballs. but i really loved it alot alottttttttt

oh, i'm gonna sign out. tmrw people! :)

oh hello!

2007-06-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

oh why hello there.

look whose back, i'll give you people a really detailed update on wednesday. i'm just here to say, that i feel really so deadly omg dead dead dead deadddddddddd

yay!

2007-05-21T11:42:00.000+08:00

apparently my whole blog's alive.

today in BCS,
thanks to sikai and kiang ang.
CUTE ANIMALS I HAVE IN MY FARM!

RECRUITMENT DRIVE!
sign up at tagboarddddddddddddd

!!!!!

2007-05-21T11:36:00.001+08:00

STUPID SIKAI AND KIANGANG.

DUMB COW AND GUARD DOG

bored at home.

2007-04-08T18:05:00.000+08:00

k, i seriously dont feel like stayg home at all. because my brother has his friends over at our house, i can't watch tv peacefully. hey, our home's quiet and nice to be in, keep your volumes down pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee
at the VERGE OF DASHING OUT OF MY HOUSE to go wander the streets by myself_

training, basketball has been going really well. but my ankle and knee, the right ones, can't seem to take it. or maybe i am going a little too hard & fasttt. but ): , they dont feel good and right until today. yea, i'll rest through today, tmr. then bang hard on tuesdayy.

certain things are rather difficult to comprehend & understand, and difficult to draw a line, or define it. how how how. i dont know, i've been asking myself whats the best thing to do. i've been running away from it, and not bothering & ignoring it doesn't mean it doesn't bug me. maybe i just go to illusion land for awhile, and come back to reality. i dont know whats the life span of this bug, so buggie, when are you gonna be out of my life. i've never seen you so determined in changing someone, and she seems really really important. its like if she doesn't change, or aint happy with life, you will make it right for her.
PERIOD.

i really hope everyone at home is fine, and i think you should stay home to keep everyone safe. musn't leave your brother at home to face it all, be with him! (:

):

2007-04-04T23:41:00.000+08:00

okay, i admit i am stubborn.
now that i've angered everyone, including myself.
i could just go bang the walls and die.
i'm sorry, but how could anyone feel it.

maybe i'm just growing up,
or maybe i'm not.
i dont know,
its been really hard these few days,
whats wrong with me?
maybe i'm just another idiot in everyone's eyes.

hey, maybe i'm just starting to just
FAIL,
again.

weeeeeeee

2007-04-01T22:40:00.000+08:00

i just felt like sayin, "haha."

tickling happppy

2007-03-31T23:58:00.000+08:00

hehehehehe, i cant stop being evil.
OH MY GOD, I HAD AN OH SO GREAT DAY PLS!
(jumps into the air & punches sky-.-)
haha, i have feelings things are gonna be lookg, (looks high up in the sky).

okay, shit. i scared myself. my toes ran through my pc, i accidentally tapped the cd OPEN button, and the thing shot out, ooopssssssssss

tralalalalalala, i keep wanting to go shopping. i'm aware that i must save up, yes gwendalynn koh. you are gonna save uppppppppp!

TODAY WAS HAHA.

2007-03-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

TODAYTODAY! (:
i played ball with katek & the rest. i dont really miss playing ball with them, but i miss the people. but i kinda isolated myself abit. haha, everyone was going crazy, as usual, but i just wanted to watch the guys' play! (: though not being crazy with them, but i just enjoyed that moement i guess, hehe. i was pretty VERY TIRED, i dont know why either. my nose was kinda stuck, and i kinda sprained my ankle, (not the one which was dislocated). but it was just a minor one! (: oh i remembered, landing a little weirdly after landi, but thankfully to that ankle guard, i was fine. i felt my ankle going some way which its not supposed to go, but ALMIGHTY ankle guard restricted its movement, phewwwwwwww. i was feeling very light headed today, i know the reason why, and yes i shouldn't be not eating my meals. i woke up like 2 plus, i was too lazy to buy foooood. then i took a bus to sengkang, i was yet again lazy to walk downstairs. so i just headed straight to the court. yes, dont nag! (: i only know i saw a little dark patches, but luckily it was just playing for fun with the rest. so i just kinda stopped. this reminds me of sec1, in ncc. my first year as right marker, and i had to fall out, and be the one who can't take the hot sun! ): no luh, i remembered i didn't eat again, and didnt drink like plentifully before the parade, but haha!(: just reminded of that timeeeeee & of course not forgetting end of last year.

and oh yes, i haven't eaten anything, i shall go rampage the kitchen of mineeeeeeeeeee

HELLO! (: hahahahhah.

2007-03-29T13:09:00.000+08:00

okay, from my post title, think you can see that i'm a little mad! (:

hey, i just remembered, to all those who suffered under the horrible tortures of my markers, i miss them! hahhahahaha. i miss doodling, vandalising all of your hands, books, & hahahahaha. i miss tifanie, because of her whole aray of markers. no luh, i miss the girl herself, she's plain whacky, & just fun to be with TIFANIE TANG HUAN PEI. (seriously, i forgot how to pronounce her chinese name, haha) i think she just disappeared with her beau laaaa, naughty.

school's coming, and i think you all are tired of hearing me say, " I'M SO EXCITED! " hahhahah.

hahaahha, i ate xueqi's (hanbin's sister) macaroni yesterday, actually it ain't that bad you know hanbin. its quite nice! (: but not like those tip top nice! but its still fineeeeee & nice to eat. i made garlic bread, i'm craving for it nowwwwwwww. haha, can tell me where to buy those garlic spread? its just yummmmyyyyyy
watched hua yang shao nian shao nu (finally, i know how to say the entire title), i enjoyed ittttt, wanted to watch more of itttttt but had to head HOME! so yeaaaa.

yesterday night, mid morning was just messy, scary & everything.
thankfully for your presence, & calming me down. wouldn't know how i would have gone through the night really. (:

there's things to change about me, i've gotta reflect. over the next few days! (:
i'm growing upp, evolving, (haha, sounds like giant mosquitoewoman or sth),
well you all do get what i mean! (: so hahahahahhahaha.

hello, joy.

2007-03-28T01:02:00.000+08:00

you just want to laugh it all offfffffffffffff!(:
laugh along with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

thoughts of endg the blog.

2007-03-25T01:44:00.000+08:00

HELLO EVERYONE!(:

23rd march 2007
went to do my brows, & i met up with jingyi, weihow, randy, faris, mike, lun! (: it was short, yet good. to see everyone else, especially jingyi, cos its been so long i met with this woman. went walking around a little and all, then jingyi weihow & randy continued. the rest of us left!
hope we'll be here walkg around town or somewhere, 10 years down the roaddddd

i've to stop sleeping late. my life's sucha bore. its just waking up late (like 3-4pm) then i'll just potter around the house, then go play ball. there's more to it to the day la! what am i doing. ):
i wanna go jurong splash next week, chengyu evelyn hanbin, lets go okay?
I WANNA GO CYCLING AND SENOTSA TOO! its just one more month, can i wake up early and do many many other fun things? ):

i've got to commit myself to trainings once again, tues & thurs, HERE I COME!
i've this feeling, i'm gonna love everyone in the TP. ting ting said, she feels happy in the team cos there're no conflicts! she sees other teams quarrelling during a game. oh why, i'm so lucky to be part of TP's team. the guys & the girls team are a little far, come on, lets bond, haha. i can imagine if we were closer, our cheers for each other would be a plus plus plus point, like morale & spirit boooster, oh c'mon. stop oggling at the girls at vball team! (: but tp's guys are so funny. HOHO! the girls are funny too, okay?

school's gonna start like really really soon. i had this thought, that me & hanbin will have obstacles to go through, i'm not confident at myself with handling the situations, i'll try my very best, and not do the disappointing things! studies gonna be a struggle, i think. i dont know, haha. i'm not really a studious person at all, i only just chiong, but i dont study smart, how how. i've gotta listen to lectures man! (: do what i need to do.

i'm gonna meet new friends, but i hope i dont meet difficult people. i mean there'll be, but let it just end fast, tht whole process. friends come & go, but not my secondary schooool bunch. GOD, BLESS ME ONCE AGAIN! 2nd year's gonna be the hardest, because i attend lectures & everything else at sentosa itself for half of the year. that means, i've gotta rush down from there for trainings, hanbin & me, prolly would just drift, please let us not drift. i hope we'll be there for each other when studies gets really stressful! i hope to do well in my studies, and not have to go thru the repeat again, the whole one year being lost, studying on my own! no way its gonna come again.

i've plans to end this blog, should i?
SIGHS! need to buck up in everything, im lacking behind againnnnnnn

i hate everyone.

2007-03-20T16:56:00.000+08:00

you all are just liars.
i hate you.
whose there when i needed someone.
no one.
not even you.
i hate everyone.

i have every right to cry now.
because everything's falling.
even my close one.
my daddy.
i love you daddy.
dont ever go away.

):

2007-03-20T16:05:00.000+08:00

what do you do when you dont want to make things worst, but you really want to solve it. but you dont want to bring the matter up? what do you do when you dont know how you are supposed to feel towards a certain matter? (because sometimes if you feel a certain way, pple will say there is not enough trust, or something?) then what do you do ? what do you do when you dont really tell your problems anymore, and just try to put it aside, because you feel that anyone, or everyone gets tired of your problems when listening to it. what do you do when u need help, but not someone to reprimand you or just say dont worry and thats all. what do you do when your gut feeling of sixth sense always come through, and crashes you till the bottom of the sea. what do you when your feeling all these?

i so wanna run away, again. like not even tell anyone, and just keep it to myself. because i believe if i say it out, things will be even worst. how do i express my problems in a way that no one will get irritated with me? i feel like being alone again, not knowing about anything, not realising anything by myself. but sometimes i'll ask whether i wanna live in the dark, or just know it the cold hard way?

i'm already starting to run, you'd better stop me.

(((:

2007-03-08T20:40:00.000+08:00

hello everybody! (:

suddenly this thought just came to my mind. i wanna be any normal, student. haha. dont want to have basketball commitments. any other commitments, cca etc. i just want to go here and there as and when i want to. spend time at anywhere, with whom i may wish to. for the past few years, so much time has been put into basketball, and i dont see myself getting anywhere. its just the love and passion for the game. and sometimes, i think its cos, we just wanna do something we're familiar with, or good at it.

but, i dont know.
here's what contradicts it.

i wanna do something, and achieve something. but the basketball achievements i've got, dont seem to be enough for me. i guess its never enough, i think? i think i'm really greedy, some people cant go as far as i went, but somehow. i felt i didnt put in my best into trainings, or maybe i did. but perhaps, it was on and off. i could sacrifice training for something else i guess. i dont know. i just wanted to play well in an overseas game. but then, singapore basketball. where can i go? enuff said.

i've got other thingsss now. there's school to go to, lectures to attend, things to study for. it may be alot, but i always want more, then when i cant take it, i just quit. i'm so stupid, knowing that there's alot of stuffs, i still continue taking up more and more. then quit, then find fault with myself again.

i think i sound like so CONFUSED. like actually its that simple, but i'm actually confusing it. or maybe i've been confusing every single bit of my life.

gwen, it may just be that simple.
but why did u go put in that much thought.

waiting for something to happen always, when will i be the one making something happen. something goood. till then, i'll .....

))))):

2007-03-07T15:35:00.000+08:00

i dont know what to say, but just FUCK!

hahaha!

2007-03-05T13:22:00.000+08:00

hahaha,
i'm a stupid stupid,
silly silly,
GWENDALYNN!

sorry if u guys worried,
I'M OKAY! thanks, hehe

school's gonna start soon, i'm reallly excited. and i'm prepared to work hard. after that one year of BIG STRUGGLES, finally i have a school, can study, got people to teach me. and somewhere i can say, I'M FROM TP! (:

i believe there're gonna be really big obstacles, but i really hope you and i can breeze through them. or maybe, okay. get through them all together! i believe in you, and myself. haha, i'm those MOST MAGNIFICENT, okay gwen's just being an idiot.

guyssssss, meet ups pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee! :D:D

i'm ....

2007-03-02T19:32:00.000+08:00

i feel useless,
i feel upset.

i feel horrible,
i feel sad.

i feel like crying,
but i cannot.

because i must hold back them,
so i'll ....

fuck today.

2007-03-02T17:58:00.000+08:00

i hate today.

i think the worst thing is that
when you want to cry,
you just have to be stronger.
and bite on.

2007-02-28T01:43:00.000+08:00

(((((: pssst, i'm SMILING wide again.
more picturesss to come.

PS. if we meet up, (anyone!) i want a picture, or pictures with you.
taaaaa-daaaaaaaa.

life's two thumbs up if you SMILE.
life's two thumbs down if you FROWN.

gwendalynn hopes school starts really soon.
i'm really excited about orientation camp,
and business school camp.
gwendalynn is excited about studying! (really.)
she's definitely excited about LRM!
wish me luck peopleeeee.

i feel :D:D:D:D:D

2007-02-25T00:31:00.000+08:00

GREETINGS EVERYONE! (:
i feel like this. (points at picture)

i fell, today i fell deeper.

2007-02-23T18:40:00.000+08:00

i needed someone today, physically.
i dont know how to go and find someone already.
i dont like today,
i guess i'm not gonna like the next few days.
i wish someone just popped by to ask,
how i was.
i needed someone today.

OOPS, dont worry, i'm still posting! (:

2007-02-23T01:41:00.000+08:00

(: oh, i dont know what happened recently.
haha, lets talk about IR, stanley ho, quek leng beng? or how about banyan tree and club med?

okay, that was bullshit! well, i went for interview today. it was pretty quick one, i liked that. haha. i dont know if it was a breezer, but i believe it was still acceptable.

I WAS MISTAKENED TODAY. (but i shall not bother trying to make clear of it, :D)

i had a really great day today!
its good meeting new people again.
and i think they are one GREAT BUNCHA PEOPLE!
so outgoing, and easy to be with.
i like this feeling, knowing new people,
and SOCIALIZING AGAIN.
but i dont wish for them to come and go.
sick & tired of, you know what.
hello to:
FARRAAAAA! RYLLLLL! ADELINE!!!! MEILING!!!! AND MEIZHU!!!!

i hope TP's lecturers are two thumbs up man,
well the two interviewers today were GREAT!

i believe i'm gonna be so very busy,
i'm afraid of the DRIFT.
will we keep it going on and on,
and better and better,
EVERYDAY.
(sad smile)

quiet, again.

2007-02-10T00:02:00.000+08:00

i dont know how i'm feeling right now.
i guess i'm not too happy. but not too sad either.
& i guess i just wanna move forward and not be stuck here.
& i think i'm starting to get quiet again.

a sudden thought.

2007-02-08T17:01:00.000+08:00

i really wish i could go back to the old ankle. so i could just play and play without any worries. sit cross-legged without any pain. i wish to be able to tahan those long, tough trainings. but now, i'm as good as nothing. as good as not nothing, as good as those people who wears BIG SHIRTS, BAGGY SHORTS, who play ball. i wanna go back to trainings, especially national youth and national training. not so much for the fame and everything, but at least, i could train and all. and now i'm out of the carded list. i'm not sure if i can go back. wanna go back is one thing, but going back in and... (issues) and i've gotta go back through women's NBL. so like where am i going to play? i wanna play youth cup too. where? i miss the times when i was more steady and firm. although i look like i'm enjoying alot alot, ( i really do), but there are trillions of thoughts running through that choked up brain of mine. questions of doubts, to my skills, and ability, and ankle. most of you may just look at it, aiya, its just a dislocation. or some of you might look at it as just some ankle sprain, but screw you people. you can just go and die! (:

three on three this saturday, i'm sure everyone will be looking at how i play. cos i've just recovered from an injury. and i'm very sure just from this very one small competition, they'll go, wah, gwen's still GOOD, or " gwen cannot make it already." fuck, cos i'll be affected. but fuck to you all who judge me. i wish i can play well, but i dont where to find that confidence again.

here, i'm crying again. over THAT ORANGE BALL.
anyone wanna bring me to a new sport?

i'm feeling bored.

2007-02-08T03:29:00.000+08:00

haha, i didnt came here to blog cos i wanted to. cos i really had like nothing to do at all.
my results are on friday, have yet decided which poly to go, and really. how would my results be. i'm like so boredddddddd. i went to collect the stuffs i bought online today. and two freaking shirts that i loveeeeee, are too big for me. i can like just wear as a tunic top, but maybe its even to big for a tunic top. so irritating, i wanted to go buy the same shirt but a different size, BUT! sighs, its all sold out. screw me, me and my lousy estimations. and the button on my new wallet came off, it broke. i only carried it for hours. i dont have this affinity with wallets. yuck! i wanna shop, shop and shop some more. but then i'm too broke! what should i get for you on valentine's day, my kukundan. i wanna get you the bag, but then i wanna get you a pair of shoes too. how, HELP ME! if only the bag costs cheaper, maybe i can get both. how how how. okay, i'm just like talking about really random thingsssss. past few days have been good, and my days to come. even bettterrrerrrr, ha. i wanna go swing swing, i wanna go sentosa in the evening. i wanna go park park parks, and more parks. aiyeer, i feel useless these few days. all i do is, SLEEP, sleep, sleep, then wake up, go out. come home, SLEEP, sleep, sleep. does anyone wanna go swimming with me every morning, i need someone to go w me. or else i will just find excuses for myself not to go, MOST OF THE TIMES. aiyeer.

gwendalynn koh can go and die.

randomly, random.

2007-02-05T03:00:00.000+08:00

sometimes we put too much focus into the uphappy, insignificant, mistakes, flaws and faults, so much that we get lost and drown ourselves in it. time to shift it somewhere else. somewhere that it would just turn your day brighter, and bring you a smile.

serenade me to sleep, for life.

2007-02-04T03:21:00.000+08:00

i cant post this song here, so heres the web to it. its really nice.
the greatest story ever told by oliver james.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1BFoo-ypsQ
enjoy it darlings(:

today was (TWO THUMBS UP!)
it was the first time (since like really really really long) i slept so peacefully, soundly, and everything-ly. maybe i was really really too tired out too. i dont know, it was a whole month with alot of thinking, emotions bursting, i'm glad its gonna be over soon. thanks to the people who were there, <3
could i have another day like this, waking up to see you.

when are o levels results out actually? screams- to whoever who knows, tell gwendalynn! was thinking of the day i would take the results. i'm thinking of all possibilities. haha, like. hmmm, cos ive gotta check my results online. and seab sent me a letter telling me my password. i was thinking, oh no. what if suddenly the password not valid, or what if i cant seem to log in. or what if this and that. (bangs walls)

are my days gonna be this perfect?

i wanna go to many many beautiful places. would someone take me there?
i wanna swing on a SWING, in the evening, when the skies are starting to grey.
i wanna go sentosa in the evenings, i think its really gonna be a beautiful sight.
i wanna go take the lunge rides and skyrides at sentosa.
i wanna go west coast park again, i dont mind going alone actually, haha.
i wanna go zoo, AND HAVE MANY MANY FUN.
i wanna go to all the parks in singapore.
i wanna go kayaking again, i wanna go with you actually.
i wanna go sit by the seaside, and just lie there and just gaze.
i wanna go cycling, and of course, someone hasn't taught me how to.
i wanna go esplanade!
i wanna go take duck tour.
i wanna go to a place, quiet, breezy. where we could just sit and talk.
whose gonna take me to all these places?
frowns, i guess i might end up going to some of this places alone.

its time i start being more independent(:
takes a deep breath, sucks all the mucus in.

gwendalynn's back again, to TAUNT you.

2007-02-03T03:09:00.000+08:00

roll out those red carpets and welcome me BACK! (:

i was sitting there thinking.

then i was shooting some balls and thinking.

and that breakthrough.

my mind just went,

do you know there're better things to think about?

and so here i am.

was thinking of the day i'd collect my results,

and what would my reaction be.

what will be my next step.

looking even more forward,

WILL I END UP IN UNI.

i sure hope i do.

and fulfil my DREAM!(:

i wanna make it through every exam this time.

i'm not gonnna let it slip through again.

and about my family.

my undying wish for MAMA AND PAPA

to not leave me at all.

brother has been really great!

i never wanna exchange them for anyone else.

and as for hanbin.

i'm just interested in you everyday.

like 24/7.

this sounds psychotic.

BUT. haha. (:

we're forever changing, so i'll just let it all go, cos everyone's has changed. its worth a try, to take a step. but i wont take too big a step, but at least i'm gonna take a step. for i'm back anew, CAREFREE AND HAPPY!(: i hope things will really get better and better, and no one shall do anything to spoil any views i see in them. i still believe there's something that i should value in everyone. it takes time, i will i will i will.

p.s. i was so damn itchy finger and i dont know what gone into my mind to open the fridge at the cc. i really didnt mean to. and the aunty saw it, and she was... so embarrassed. i was so itchy finger, growls at myself- i dont dare walk in there again, save me someone.

THANKS, hanbin. cherlyn.

RANDY everytime i think of your joke, i cant help but just LAUGH!

hehehaha.

2007-02-02T00:30:00.000+08:00

(: im in all smiles today!

okay, i woke up like at 3pm, so lazy. and then i went out w huiqian and zeteng. went to eat at new york new york, food's okay only. we ordered the wrong thing lah. i think thts why. haha. but still, i enjoyed playg w the chicken. hahaha. and the huiqian bought a whole load of stuffs, she's the queen of all shoppers. she told me she bought this watch for herself, $364 or something like that. giogor armarni. shakes head- hahaha, then she went shopping and all. then we all talked nonsense! i had a fun fun fun day.

then i went to meet hanbin for like an hour plus(: i must say, THANKS. you really really, have matured so much darling, THANKS!(: yeah, those silly thoughts of mine, buts its rather inevitable. okay, maybe it is. but then i think i'm just like way toooooooo.... you know whats that word to describe me.

hopefully i'll be able to meet up w cherlyn, weihow, jingyi, and tiffany tang! on saturday, another shoppers' night out.

i want the nautical look. i want an off shoulder top, navy blue and white striped long sleeves, white berms, tanning bag, more accessories. more RED HOT TOPS!(: hahahahhaa.

HANBIN, thanks darling.

my last cry.

2007-01-30T05:27:00.000+08:00

i'm like the silliest person on earth.

thanks hanbin(:

the way you handled me today was,

-drops a tear*

i dont know what to blog about now. im like super super tired. cos of my blogskin! pulls hair- its so plain right. i changed the picture, and i took like an hr to find a decent picture w the right size okay. please tell me its simple and neat, AND THAT YOU LIKE IT. hahaha. i went tanning today, i thought i didnt get any tanner. but my face's like REDREDRED. and i hope it doesnt peel, applies big scoops of aloe vera. i love today, and today is so memorable.

things have happened, but EMBRACE IN THE NEW, and like it even better.

heres sth for you to laugh-

2007-01-29T18:24:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66UJYmrZokw

GO WATCH IT!
and sing along, maybe.

There's a hole in the bottom of the sea (x2)
Oh, there's a hole
There's a hole
There's a hole in the bottom of the sea

Whoa-ho-ho, alright, we're getting a little faster here now.
And you know what?
I think there's something else down there in the bottom of the sea,
something that you'll be able to relate to.

There's a tube in the throat of the elderly man in the hospital bed on the frog on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea. (x2)

Oh there's a hole
There's a hole
There's a hole in the bottom of the sea

Oh, whoa! What is this?

There's a birthday cake for Mr. Cowen on the frog on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
There's a birthday cake for Mr. Cowen in the hole in the bottom of the sea.

Get a nurse.

There's a hole (x2)There's a hole in the bottom of the sea.

im feeling lousy today.

2007-01-29T18:15:00.000+08:00

i went to tan. and then i dont think i got any tanner? so i went home, bathed, chatted w evelyn awhile. and then i headed out. i was quite sian that i couldnt shop, but all else's fine anws. then i felt like super not ...confident. i dont know why. and then i look at kelvin koh and grace, i dont know how. somehow, i was just reminded again. i felt kinda sad, and all the questions popped in again. i dont know, there's a scar. i wanna erase all my fears, i will. as i tear again, please please please. people, think far when it comes to love. dont think momentary happiness satisfies all. but if you can bear the hurt, and the tiresome processes, you can play that game, go ahead. are you really that happy afterall ? when you say you love someone, ask yourself a thousand of questions. ASK, ASK, AND ASK SOMEMORE. maybe you'll just find some answers, and you'll know whether to go for it a not. i dont give good advices now somehow, (not that i did all along), but i'll just tell you. ask your heart, it says yes, then go. ask your heart, it says WANT, then go want it. i live each day thinking there wont be a tomorrow. pessimistic uh? damn it, i feel all sucky again. takes a deep breath-

POOF!
bye-

<3 i wonder.

2007-01-25T16:29:00.000+08:00

hello, it was hell yesterday. food poisioning. pouts- then i couldnt take it anymore, i went to dad's room and said, " daddy could you bring me to see a doctor? "
i felt like ripping my stomach, or intestines, the things that are causing that pain! however all is well now, and im craving for food, diary products, oily food, the foods i should avoid these few days. HOHOHO.

~~food poisioning~~, ZAPZAPZAP! (:

i wonder about many things.
i wonder whether when you listen to songs,
i wonder whether there're songs for you and her.
i wonder whether you two have YOUR SONGS.
i wonder whether you think of her when your w me.
i wonder whether she'll be our obstacle for life.
i wonder whether ~~she'll come in again.~~
i wonder whether i am really the one.
i wonder ..
the many many wonders.
how do i succumb to them all ?

and when will you remember to reply my letter ?
growls- why, why am i like that.

-two thumbs up!

2007-01-24T03:02:00.000+08:00

and hello again! (:

i sound so damn ting tong and hyper rights. uh-huh, i got a new skin. but okay, PLEASE TELL ME! was mr joy air ballon (the one w balloons w happy coulours), retro sizzles shit, or this one nicer?

my days are getting better and better! (: i thank thank thank thank, thank CHERLYN, HANBIN, RANDY, SANDRA, for making them all wonderful. yesyes, never felt this happy and.. i dont know. i guess i'm gonna this like everyday, "today has been just so great, never this great before." so haha. okay, it doesnt really make sense. but HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH x INFINITY!

i'm really REASSURED this time! (: i feel very very happy. and the BOOK, i really love it like ~~FUCK~~loads. okay that wasnt the word, sorry about that. TRUCKloads, like _______loads. i trust and trust again and again. i'll go practice the lines, " its all gone, everything's fine." its all about you, me, you and me, and life ahead. hearts are given, to the reason why this is written.

THANK YOU HANBIN! (:

~~im all thrash, xoxo.~~

no more of this nonsense, cos i need to BRING OUT THAT ME in me.

today cher you cried so hard over the phone, i'm sorry i wasnt sensitive enough. when you replied that really short message, i felt something was wrong somehow. but i didnt ask, i didnt look into it deeper. i SHALL make sure i take note of that. smile mom, because this is not you, THERE'S MORE TO YOU. that you that brings someone up even though you have problems. where has that FIGHTER gone to? remember, gwendalynn will be here.

people, how have all of you been?

randy, how are you?
kk, you gotten over her?
faris, you?
ck, how's slimming programme coming along?
mike, how's your hair!?
kaixin, you? (i dont know whats stopping me from contacting you. but maybe its cos you never once intiated to ask how i was.)
chernhui, you are like so busy and all, dont get stressed out okay.
chong ghee people, where did you all run to?
bird, stop thinking life's always like that, life's up to you to dictate.
many more, i'll just stop here today.

i dont know.

2007-01-17T01:06:00.000+08:00

1) ITS A GUY THING, but cherlyn, i hate it. it sucks. pouts-
2) I SO WANNA BE LIKE BEFORE, its ball again. how?
3) IT WAS SUCHA GREAT DAY, but there's always buts, [but nothing big, so its okay.] (growls)
4) I FELT LIKE PUNCHG THE WALL TODAY, cherlyn knows why.
5) IM NOT GONNA TOUCH IT AGAIN, too many coincidences. again, cherlyn knows why.
6) haha, i wish like the next time i touch it, I'LL JUST SMILE AND PUT IT BACK IN PLACE.
7) but then again, im touching it NO MORE.
8) i want my goodnight messages. (can i insert a crying face, NO.)
9) gwendalynn, ' SHUT UP AND STOP BEING A KID. '

hello people. again, dont know what im ranting about, sorry. just give me sometime. the dark clouds would clear, and you can see the moon, stars, and sun altogether again. okay, that sounded wrong, BUT YEAH. im sure you'll understand. results gonna be out on the 5th of feb, REALLY AH? -runs* okay, things are smooth, but then there's something wrong w me, and my insane mind. get me a brain surgeon will you?

JURRRJURRR, JADED.

2007-01-16T01:04:00.000+08:00

THINGS HAPPEN.

1) another has left, and gathered w the other stars shining down brightly on us.

ry used to always whahaha. he ALWAYS uses this laughter. always remembered him as a simple quiet guy. but on msn, he's always talkg rubbish, and always doesnt make sense. i've never gotten to know him inside there. he has always been low profile about his leukemia. but then i thought he was in the process of recovering, and then. neh, i cant go on.

2) i'm out of my emo-ness. KILL THEM ALL. haha, let it go, let it go. its good to feel this way. but i've to thank you* for this. you made it all even MORE POSSIBLE. and for the sake of A BIG WIDE SMILE in you*, me, US. things are picking up, and i should find back all that i've lost. chugging through it all, w a smile. ive been really really paranoid, and why? HAHA, its in me lah. KILL THEM ALL. hahaha, i guess havent been sad really, like really affected these few days. and oh yah, somehow i dont feel you enjoyed night safari w me! (slaps myself) was like telling everyone i know, and talked to that night, how great it was and everything. you? was it just watching animals, and just interesting only? HAILS- (slaps myself again) maybe it could have been better if it wasnt so tiring i guess. SORRY! i've never brought someone out on their birthday before, its my first time. so is it a success or a failure? i tried making it like more funfun, by singing and jumping around singing stupid songs, i dont know. how how? will i have the confidence to do it again? /me slaps simultaneously.

3) you* said, ' i cant wait to see you play ball against girls again. ' im scared, OF EVERYTHING. we'll see on 10th feb, i shall try to make a comeback. okay, maybe not a comeback. what im supposed to do, is to enjoy it again, and see whether i can make a comeback if i was given more time. everytime after ball, i take out my tape. it aches so so badly. and my ankle just clicks, then i'll stretch, then CRUCK! then i'll go home, do my things, and lie on bed, its just suan, plain suan and achy. i always tell myself, it'll get better, it SURE WILL. maybe i dont have enought strength and muscles for now. i'll get it back, I WILL. sometimes, i think im deceiving myself, but who knows. right?

4) a million and thousands things, i want it all back, and i want it anew. especially myself. CHUG-A-CHUGCHUG! you and i, (you* and people reading), have a new chapter of relationship. extending it to another level, drilling and building my way through shall i? give me some times people, you'll see me again. ONE TRUE GWENDALYNN KOH.

5) i miss cherlyn, sandra suddenly. <3>

6) i dont know why, but i love the care and love given to a small child. (aiyah, i like being pampered.) so why i behave like this, you know why? haha, cherlyn is sometimes very much like a mum. i pretty much like to irritate people like how a child irritates you, i love to see you go NUTS! (: w good intentions. eh friends, i help you train your patience for you child next time, so THANK ME. but this child has pretty too much going on in the mind, so can you call her a child at times?

7) i dont like people who say they'll play ball w me, and that day doesnt come at all, so dont say it. and if i needed someone, dont just try to say things for the sake of saying. to make everything sound nice and together. or dont tell me you wanna see me so much then actually it doesnt really matter. or dont tell me you've really enjoyed yourself but tell someone nothing much, just like this and like that nor. so its no great deal, then dont say anything. maybe just a thanks will do. years, all these have happened.

i think i havent made any sense in that 7 paragraphs. try to make it together yourself, SORRY! (:

hey you, haha. meet the GWENDALYNN.

2007-01-12T02:52:00.000+08:00

(: im a little cranky. but people, IM SMILING and nonsense-ing again. i dont know what to blog nowadays. so, HERE.

its been a long time(:

2007-01-09T10:45:00.001+08:00

i
miss
cherlyn,
and
ME?
and
MANY MORE.

i've been down, but. i always put on my happy face and skip away. i think only cherlyn knows exactly whats going on. SHE'S BEEN LIKE HERE 24/7 since, 20th november. my very last paper, my first day of CRASHING, and more crashing.

okay, i dont know what to blog about.
i feel so fucking emo.
and so fucking....
DUHH.

my happy pill went out with me today.

2006-12-18T01:48:00.000+08:00

supposedly our, 28month together. (:

anyways, i had such great day with happy pill! went to have dinner, then to sportslink, then to deja vu. pretty much simple, but suprisingly enjoyable. cos you spent it with the one you love, everything always seems so perfect. but it really is. thank you! (:

im in smiles again. well, i wont be contacting you much from tomorrow onwards. because of certain reasons. and one of the many reasons are, i just wanna leave you alone for some time. so you'll think about things properly. i dont know how im able to do it this time, but yeah, im able to. so make full use of it when im still strong, and not crashing again. haha, i guess you guys dont know what im blabbering about, but just yeah. dont ask. (:

my life's good, YES, it sure is getting better aye? people out there, smile smile smile okay? i love to see people smile, its just so, beautiful? charming and everything.

i want my pretty pretty dresses and pumps to go with. my knee length shorts and all. my long awaited birkenstocks. i have to pamper myself all over again. and people, i need to restock my cupboard! ive lost 8kg. hahaha! be happy for me. im gonna lose say, another 6 more kg, and fullstop. hahahahah. okay, im getting a little cranky, but yeah! to the poolside people.

i had a wonderful wonderful day. i love cherlyn, and mr happy pill, today and forever. and many many many others. HOHOHO.

things are gettg better.

2006-12-13T14:39:00.000+08:00

tehehe.

today's gonna be a really boring day i guess. ive decided not to go muaythai. and yeah, cos im down with a flu bug! its gettg better though, but nah. gotta meet randy at 11pm today! like not late at all uh. ive got two timings to choose to meet him. one at 0345, the other at 11pm at hougang point. i cant meet him at 0345, my prison break, and click! cannot watch finish in time yeah. so i just gotta meet him at 11pm i guess. am i meetg mr sunshine today? shrugs*

yesyes, things are getting better. because ive learnt to go easy on myself, and everyone else. hopefully i have learnt that. its a whole new beginning for you and me. and im starting to love it all. and love you all. im glad we could talk like before once again. and im glad i made laugh with my, HANDY DANDY NOTEBOOK! and cherlyn taught me the MAIL TIME song. haha, all from blue's clues. i cant wait for christmas with you, let 2006's be a jolly good one. /me jumps*

i went out with cherlyn yesterday, went to IKEA! (: beams* we bought quite a number of stuff. we wanted to buy the stool and chair, but then the tampines one doesnt have! aint fair, but then we needed to head town first. so we did, but by then, its was like 4 plus, and we were all, DRAINED OUT. so yeah, we'll head to the alexender's road ikea someday soon. i'm just so dead, ive been spending money, and more money. how? and i havent gotten a job, this is horrible. someone, recommend me to somewhere to work, can?

i havent bathed, brushed my teeth (opens mouth wide open into screen). so i shall do NOW? haha. i hope you guys' would have a OH JOLLY GOOD christmas this year. till then, pretty pretty and charming charming alrghts!

things i really wanna own but dont have the heart to splurge on:
-that zara dress!
-a pair of birkenstocks, the madrid.
-another bag. (have yet to find one)
-a pair of sneakers. (unfound)
-zara's jeans.
-zara's pretty black silky top!
-MORE PUMPS!

guess what, IM MEETG CHUA HUIQIAN.

2006-12-06T14:22:00.000+08:00

i'm so happy today. yet a little upset.

happy things first.
im meeting my long lost mom. she owes me pink dresses for christmas. oops. i'm meetg thistle chua hui qian. im gonna drive her so crazy again, WOAH. (:

sad things.
are left to be unsaid.

im going to drive people CRAZY now.

tehehe.

2006-12-05T11:32:00.000+08:00

gwendalynn's feeling all fluttery.

mr sunshine, (winks)

gwendalynn shall go hug a tree.

shivering hands, short entry.

2006-12-04T20:47:00.000+08:00

my hands are shivering from muaythai.

damn, am i weak. i must get stronger. push ups, crunches. HERE I COME. (: wanna join me, anyone?

c'mon, i wanna hear sharp punches.
c'mon punch properly, punch harder.
c'mon, dont kick like that, twist inwards.
GOOD one. GO GO GO.

fatigue's making me crazy, BUT I LIKE.

gwendalynn is happy, but sad.

been doing some growing up at home.

2006-12-04T12:18:00.000+08:00

ha, i was home for a few days straight. was GROWING UP at home.

i went all silent and practically just did nothing but wanted no one to disturb me. shrugs* i guess that period's over soon. feelg so bitter every night that i'll go to my parents room to sleep with them. my room's filled with ....

the days are getting by, and im startg to think again. but then i dont wanna think anymore, all i wanna do, is do my best in it* and over time, it'll tell whether its really impossible, or its still possible. ive condemned myself in your eyes somehow, i dont know why. hold me tightly and never let me go, will you ?

i tried playing ball yesterday. it felt good again, and again, it was my escape to everything. it was all only temporary, but still. but my ankle is clucking away, and i feel a little pain while runng. i jumped, i drived, everything, was just a little careful. thats all. will i even make a comeback? thinks hard* well, the doctor hasnt given me the GO sign to do anything, so i'll take it easy on myself first. i dont wanna sulk, moan, lose my temper, frown, cry, over basketball again. i want it to make me smile AGAIN. (: amateur basktball lah.

and most of all, your my sunshine.
i wanna make you smile like never before.

i've so much more to say.

2006-11-24T13:19:00.000+08:00

i've so much more to say.
i'll be back to tell you more that i've learnt.
friends, teach me about your life.
i wanna learn from you all.

summary of my past few days.

2006-11-24T12:53:00.000+08:00

it wasnt good, it was hell.

in times of despair, no one could help heal you. you'll have to heal yourself. i took my anger out on myself. its bad, it sucks. im not doing it anymore. i almost ruined my health and my legs.

i bruised my feet's tendon. who's gonna care? who is the one takg all these pain. GWEN. what more you want out of yourself. dont tire yourself out anymore. maybe till the end of this week alrights. i went muay thai. i couldnt stop kicking, i couldnt stop punching. despite the bruises and the swelling. i went on and on. i couldnt express myself well, i cant. this was the only way. i didnt know where to vent my anger and sadness on. no one deserves all these from me, so the only thing i could do was to tire myself out from every bit of things that i do. muay thai is such a big relieve, and it can makes burst. well, i must withstand this excrutiating pain in my heart. i dont know how to start, i dont know how to end. i've been bottling up everything, whose responsible for my heart now? GWEN. whose responsible for my well being, GWEN. whose responsible for my own problems, GWEN. but i'll be responsible for my friends too, cos i cherish them. i'll try to protect your hearts, and not let any of me hurt it alrights. so feel save keeping your heart with me. thats the least i can do as a friend. and dont ever take away anything or everything from someone, and decide to leave them alone after some time. its not gonna turn out good. and for now, think before you make every decision. at least thats' what i've learnt. to all of you, i might be just another friend, but to me, you people mean the world to me. and i'll rush down from wherever i am, just to give u a hug when u cry. dont hesitate to call me or confide in me. dont bother about whether your bothering me, cos everyone needs a someone. not trying to be magnanimous, but sometimes i think its better i take my own problems into my own hands. i dont wanna be so vulnerable anymore. past few days has hit me so hard. i didnt know how to handle it really. i was so hard up, and i dont know what to do. it all came crashing. maybe i expected it, maybe i didnt. i just didnt expect to turn out this way. cos i was a strong faith person, perhaps i still am. sometimes i wonder what i mean to you people, and i really wanna know an answer. but sometimes i guess its better not to know it.

if i just had one more day.

everyone needs a someone. everyone needs an angel. everyone needs someone to protect them. BUT, at times. you dont know if there is someone out there.
have you all ever wondered that what if something happens to the one you need most, and they're no longer by your side. would you hate yourself for picking at them, thinkg about all the pain and frustrations that they have given you, cos by now they're really gone. go and read, one more day, mitch albom.
have you all asked yourself, what do your parents, and siblings mean to you. have you been treatg them the way they needed you to treat them? what if all of them just suddenly disappear from your house for good, would you be filled with regrets?

rethink what you have done to your closed ones, not think about what they've done to you. have you ever really done something sweet for them, maybe it feels awkward, but just pluck that courage and do it. at least you know you'll never come to any regrets.

okay, im pretty weird.

2006-11-21T12:10:00.000+08:00

i went muay thai yesterday. and nothing felt painful, except for the kick on the elbow. WOOO. i had hell of a great time doing everything yesterday. im starting to enjoy muaythai. and the way joe does everything is so ... easy peasy and nice. it all came with hard work right? i'll train my ass off.

things have happened lately, but i dont know how i'm reacting to it. not the usual me though. remember how i always show emotions to whatever the situation is, but well. i guess its not like that anymore. friends, just be there. dont ask why. im sorry. i really need a breather somehow, somewhere, i needa get out of my house everyday and tire myself out before i go to sleep. or else i'll turn nocturnal again.i slept at 12 yesterday, and claps* gives myself a pat on the back. tht was the kinda day i was looking for. yesterday i went over to cherlyn's house, and then we headed town with benzay! and then i rushed for muay thai, then after go hougang mall and meet cherlyn and benzay again. then head over to her house, then went home. so packed and all, that made me feel so so so tired.

am i still me?

today's another day. and i needa go find something to do. cos everyone's not free today. i dont know what i should do somehow though. quite sad urh. the sun's quite good, i should go and swim soon right ? and then maybe think what i should after that right ? well, thats later.

i wanna run away from everything. or am i already running away already ? i no longer know how to face things the way i used to. or maybe i know how. thats why i didnt cry. will i burst one day? i just hope its easy from now on. i need a float, but i dont wanna depend on anybody. and it isnt fair to treat someone just as a live saver. no one derserves such things, but if its really meant to be, take it and accept it alright. hold on as long as you can, just tell yourself, ' gwen just one more day. ' then the next day, tell yourself again, ' just one more day.' you must first be patient with love, then you'll be patient with everything ! :D

people, date me luh. HOHO.

i cant sit on my toilet bowl properly.

2006-11-17T11:24:00.000+08:00

lol, I"M ACHING EVERYWHERE. thanks to.. muaythai. but then it was so .... you know. lol. rolls eyes*
yah. i think its been a long time since i worked out and trained quite hard. lol. but i still cant run yet. so its like wth. well oh well. i met up with vanessa yesterday! hails* i missed her so much. but we're gonna meet up soon soon, cos we've got swimming lessons to go for. and she say she wants to come learn muay thai too. hohohoho. evil smile* van, you must perservere kayes. love you! :D
meeting up with asmara and momsy later on. supposed to go town i guess. ponders* how to walk town with my achy body. oh never mind, just whack urh. i wanna watch dead or alive, anyone willing to watch it with me? and i must borrow prison break to watch. i'm still wondering if the tattoos are real or fake though ? lol. oopsie* but he's just way hot, and the way he protects people, is way charming. top to toe, way......perfect. okay, i feel psychotic now. no, please dont mistaken me for some groupie. no i'm not. (:
there's so much in life now, claps*
okay that was really random, but yeah.
anyways, i cant wait to learn cycling, and my freestyle. and get even slimmer. and then, i'll do weight trainings. just so excited to see my toned body. but how long will i take? man. there's homecoming later. i seriously cant wait to meet the rest. i'll run to them and give them a big big big HUG. yeap. be prepared, BEAR HUG ATTACK! hope i'll see tiffany, i miss her so much. tht whacky crazy ass.
daryl ah daryl, if your reading, your just some lao yeye whose so naggy, and so young, and so irritating. growls* okay that didnt make sense, but yah lah, shhh.
i sprained my neck, it was so difficult sleeping yesterday. the muscles around it are so tight. i think i should bathe in a tub of deep heat right? i'm just some sick woman.
never swam so easily before, like so buoyant. i've lost like 5kg, but its not really visible to me i guess. but van said it was weird looking at me so skinny-ly? okay, that wasnt the right word. but i need to train my legs, flabby little things. muay thai's gonna come in handy though. WIDE GRINS* is it just me, or am i really trying to psycho people into muay thai. oh never mind, i'm just blabbering.
anyone got job lobang ? (: i need a job. but not some $5/- per hour kind. but if really no choice, i think i'll settle for it. for fun and experience of it. grins*
i shall end here i guess. and today's the 27th month for us! happy monthsary. lol, i sound. err never mind.
gwen just needs to shut up.

another day has passed.

2006-11-16T16:33:00.000+08:00

yes yes, another day has passed. i've not been doing much. but i feel really tired recently. but i guess its GOOD? i'm trying to get through today. cos i woke up so early. and hopefully i wont fall asleep now, cos i cant sleep at night if i fall asleep now. pouts* my blog's really dead. but i never meant to have it for anyone. perhaps just myself. days pass by. and sometimes you tend to forget what has happened. especially for people like me. i'm quite oblivious to everything around me now, and no, i'm not some bimbo. or whatever you say. i enjoyed myself very much at muay thai. it drains me thoroughly. leaving no time and space for you even think about anything. if you know what i mean.
feeling that kinda drift hurts big time. but i need to be able to give you space. and i dont wanna be the cause of anything now. it feels rather crappy. but i think i'll moan about it awhile now, i guess i'll still go on fine. argh, fukc it lurh.
lemme think. i got to know a new friend, his name is daryl, and he's 15! man, i feel old.
something happen to my bestest friend yesterday. found out something so shocking about her relationship. that person is just an asshole. just another BASTARD. just get a life you idiot, if you cant handle things well, dont get my friend involved with you in the first place. if you cant forget about your ex, dont go onto another relationship and hurt someone else, they dont deserve it.
i'm tired tired tired, and tired. but i love being tired. cos when i'm tired, i'll be too tired to think about anything. and its like, you ask me to swim, i'll swim. you ask me to punch, i'll punch, ask me to kick, i'll kick. i'll just take in instructions without processing in the mind. i feel pathetic about myself. can someone save me from this really really deep well?

i'm such a lazy bummer.

2006-11-14T12:18:00.000+08:00

damn, the weather's good. but i was so lazy to go swim, so horrible. growls* gwen stop being so lazy.
gee, i feel like slacking at home today, just slacking around and potter around the house. or perhaps i'll be heading down to suntec to do shopping all by MYSELF. lols. you people will go like, hur. whats wrong with gwen. there's nothing with my dear. :D
i had good talk with ngys yesterday. it was satisfying. but it was kinda like mixed mixed feelings. like a pinch of sadness and a pinch of happiness somehow? lol, i dont really know how to describe it either, and i'm just glad that we had a little talk. gimme a hug? hahahaha.
three days counting down to homecoming, and i'm pretty excited i must say ! :D
tomorrow i shall be good. i shall go physio, and muaythai. time to breakthrough fear again, please stand by me, my dear ankles.
and i got my birkenstocks! so so happy. ngys tempted, and he said, ' HELP ME TELL THE PERSON I WANT A PAIR TOO.' cheeky smile- hahhaa, i knew you'll get tempted. neh nih neh nih neh neh.
i'm still undecisive of where to go on that very special day. i shall go and check it out today. online and maybe at the actual place? man, thats far. but its worth it, nods*

so i'll be back to bore you with my daily stuff, but still, YOU ARE READING. (i guess)

there's more to life.

2006-11-13T13:27:00.000+08:00

lols, i just love shopping.
vivo may be the one stop shopping center, but i may not be too! its oozing with people. and its really a turn off when everyone's squeezing and all. but their forever 21, topshop, and zara, is BIG. hahaha. oh weells. i went vivo yesterday, and i was just like, oh woah. lol. candy empire, i liked it but not the norm who will buy loads of stuff for myself to eat. hahaha. i'll just go woah, this is so cute.. etc etc. it wass really fun hanging out with cherlyn and ASMARA. gasp-
so in whole, i shopped for three days continuously, watched STEP UP, seriously should watch it, and i met a new FRIEND! she's so adorable. hahaha.
plans for this week, physio, muaythai (i'm doubtful if i'll able to make it through the whole session though) homecoming, and preparations for a very very special dayyy! :D winks-
ngies over at my house to chill, so till then, YOU GUYS PARTY HARD.

the RAIN, the rain, AND THE RAIN.

2006-11-11T14:11:00.000+08:00

its a RAINY yellow banana day.
so moooo urhh. i had like a SUPER UBER GREAT TIME IN TOWN with, cherlyn. thanks mom. and today, its raining all again. pouts- hmmm, well but i'm still gonna go out. hahaha. naughty me. my maths paper was GOOD. but i dont if i can score eh. wish me luck people. i'm gonna watch step up today, yay. and SHOP till i drop. hahah, i think i walked too much yesterday, and i had toe cramps for like half an hour. why in the world people get toe cramps from walking to much, points* at gwen. okay okay, i'm like getting rather lame. but like yeah. i went town after my paper, and i brought food for ng-ies to eat. and you all, TRY THE beard papa's cream puff if you havent. its HEAVENLY. especially when the cream inside, its cold. woah, jaw drop* okay gwen stop it. gonna bring my mum's laptop to repair soon, her keyboard's like crap. then i can use it in my room, AND YOU ALL WILL SEE ME ONLINE MORE OFTEN AGAIN! hohohoho. my comp crashed apparently. ohohoh, i saw wallet, or clutch? no not clutch. but like those olden day granny's purse. like two balls in the middle, metal one. goes, *giap giap*, then open. lol, so prettyyy. think i'll get it today, shall ask sandra if i should get it though. and you all should go check out the abercrombie and fitch shop at far east, it ROCKS your socks. guys and girls. (: next week's a busy week i guess. muaythai, physiotherapy, homecoming (hope it'll be great fun!), erh. oops, i think i forgot all about studying. so and yah, STUDYING. maybe i should cut my hair next week or something. nyhehehe. i guess i'll end here. i needaa shit!

its my last major paper! :D

2006-11-10T12:19:00.000+08:00

clap claps* its my last major paper!
ask me out okay, i missed you all.
and gyss people going back homecoming to have FUN!?

pray for my papers people, THANKS.
meet up with ALL OF YOU soon.

exams are like GONNA BE SO OVER!

2006-11-09T17:12:00.000+08:00

oh well. sucky day, COS OF THE WEATHER. i was like smiling from ear to ear cos i could finally go swim, and TA-DA. thanks hur.
i'm feeling so tired somehow. lol. dont feel like doing math, afraid that i suddenly blank out and dont how to do and start panicking again! [: i was like supposed to go swim lah. its okays. TAKES A DEEP DEEP BREATHE*
eh hanbin, i made cookies, so sweet of me! where's your thank you. next time i dont care already urh. life's been good so far i guess. lols, when you told me you were messaging vanda, i was just like, OH. lol. yeah. i guess i'm not that all possessive after all. i'll become possessive when you dont tell me things, triggers my thought and make me think all WILD. so you should just say, haha. not true that some things should be left unsaid, at least for US ? yeah i guess. hmmm. hope inside you somehow would say, ' things have really been going fine these few days.' maybe i should give her a chance? message me more, cos I'M LIKE SUPER BORED.
hahahaha. well, i hope things are going fine though, cos i've been putting in alot of effort. and i hope i can really make things work. dont make me wait too long for a confirmation alright? i'll get weary and all yeah? hopefully the day would come, say before christmas? that'll be my best christmas wish though. yeah. (:
think i'll just end here. i feel like sleeping though. ahhh gees. should i sleep? pouts*